Mommy, why does she have all your Fire King?

I read that Alexis Stewart is about to publish a book about what it was like growing up as Martha's daughter. Alexis apparently doesn't present her Mommie Dearest in a particularly flattering manner. She tells tales about Ms. Domestic Perfection's nasty bathroom habits and hiding from Halloween trick or treaters because she's too cheap to buy them candy. But I digress. Here's a post I published back in 2009. I think the story is worth telling again.

One fine day, years ago, when my now 18 year old daughter was about 5, I received my Martha Stewart Living magazine in the mail. I plopped down on the couch and began to leaf through it.

I came upon an article about Martha's daughter Alexis,
who had recently taken a road trip across the U.S. on a quest to buy Jadite Fire King dishes.
The photos told the whole story. This woman had floor to ceiling shelves stacked FULL of my beloved glassware. And not just plates and coffee cups. Oh no; there were serving pieces, batter bowls, egg cups, dessert plates...it was like a nightmare. I started to hyperventilate and with each turn of the page, my gut wrenching cries grew louder. My darling child rushed over, looked down at the photos, and asked: "Mommy, why does she have all your Fire King?" I tossed down the wretched magazine, held her in my arms and whispered in her ear..."Because she is a BITCH!"


Here's my collection:

P.S. There's more in the garage.