Monday, August 9, 2010

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

photo credit:

You are cordially invited to my pity party. I am sore from head to toe, I have nasty scrapes on my face, arm and leg and my right knee is currently the size of a small watermelon. "But, One Gal's Trash," you may ask: "How did this happen?"

On Sunday, my husband, our kids and I took part in the Bridge Pedal ride, an annual event where the bridges of Portland are closed to car traffic and thousands of people ride their bikes over the bridges and through the city. Sounds like a great idea in theory. But in practice, I ended up in the Emergency Room at Good Samaritan Hospital. In fact, out of 18,000 participants, 3 were carted away in the back of an ambulance. I was one of those three.

We were about 8 miles into the ride (which, I would like to say, is a pretty big accomplishment for me) when a small child on a smaller bike rode right in my path. There was no place for me to go except down. I remember thinking "This is going to hurt!" I banged my head and my right arm and knee. HARD. I was wearing my helmet ~ which is lucky because a few minutes earlier I had taken it off and thought about not putting it back on because it didn't match my bike.

So I fell, tried to sit up, realized I was hurt and started crying like a baby. It must have been adrenaline because I'm usually not weepy in these circumstances. Put me in front of a holiday Hallmark commercial, and I'm a puddle, but I almost never cry in a crisis. Anywho, a Portland firetruck shows up and several helpful and very cute firefighters hop out. They started asking me questions like: "What is your name?" "Pam." "Who is the president?" "NOT GEORGE BUSH!" I started to walk and realized that this was not a good idea. At that point, the paramedics arrived and started poking and prodding me and sticking oxygen up my freckled nose. As they got me on the stretcher and rolled me into the back of the ambulance, I tried to reassure my kids and husband that I was going to be o.k. But to tell the truth, I was scared and hurt and trying not to think about Natasha Richardson.

On the way to the hospital, one of the paramedics was talking at me, I think in an effort to keep me awake. He told me that another biker had taken a fall earlier in just about the same place as me. She lost consciousness for 5 minutes. They had taken her to the Trauma unit at Emanuel Hospital. And she was wearing a helmet.

So I got to the hospital and the nurses were kind and the doctor was great and quite funny. Had x-rays taken of my knee...No breaks or cracks. When the doctor told me it wasn't broken, I said, "Well, then how come it hurts so much?" He looked straight at me and said "Because you just fell off your bike." Oh, right. Mark and the kids arrived and were sweet and offered me Junior Mints to ease the pain.

And those cute firefighters? They rescued my bike, put it in their truck and took it back to the station for safekeeping. We picked it up on the way home.

Anyway, here I am; very, very lucky and sore and feeling sorry for myself. So girls, if you are so inclined, please send me a quick Hello or a dumb joke.
Pam ~ One Gal's Trash


Anonymous said...

Oh no! Feel better soon!

Here's a dumb joke I heard recently: Where did the kittens go on their field trip? The meow-seum!

Pixie said...

a priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar....seriously, I am glad you are ok. Take it easy and take pride in the fact that you did eight miles!

Anonymous said...

So apparently Steve and Hannah fart loudly and A LOT. Linda Rae, not so much. The other day Steve asked Linda, "Honey, so the next time you are about to fart, could you please raise your hand so we know?" True story. Hopefully also a funny story. :)

KarenSue said...

I would cry too! I really think cute is a requirement to be hired as a fireman. It really helps.
Take it easy for a while and read lots of blogs!
Take care,

Vonlipi said...

Take care of yourself! Those falls can hurt so much; thank god you had your helmet on!

I too think of Natasha Richardson in those circumstances. What a tragic accident!

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I am so glad you are okay! That must have been uber scary!

Yeah for cute firemen who rescue damsels and their carriages.

"Well, then how come it hurts so much?" "Because you just fell off your bike." bbwwwhhhaaahhhhaaahhaaa

Leah said...

Hope you are feeling better soon. Tell the family it's time for them to pamper you now. :o)

Sue (Vintage Rescue) said...

So sorry to be laughing at your story, but that "not George Bush" retort set me off. And we've all considered NOT wearing protective gear because it "doesn't match." Take care, lie low, and milk it. The hubs and kids need to take care of YOU now. If you can convince them to junk in your stead, you are a heroine. XOX

trash talk said...

I'll be sure and bring the whine...I mean wine! Seriously, I'm glad you're ok.
P.S. Girl, I think you'll do just about anything to meet firemen!

Sandi said...

Watch out for bike riding. My hubby ended up in the emergency room with stitches and lots of scrapes and bruises from a spill on his bike.

Glad you are fine. Take it easy. Sounds like one scary time. But the event sounds like fun.

Watch out for small children on bikes. Could be dangerous. Ha Ha.


A Thing for Roses said...

So sorry to hear about your accident, Pam, but glad you are okay. I'm sure that was so scary and I probably would have reacted the exact same way as you. I wish I had a funny joke to share, but I never remember any. Take care and get lots of rest.



Jayme said...

So sorry you crashed! That doctor was a jerk for giving you that sarcastic answer. He didn't have a medical reason, like "deep bruising," or "giant ow-y" or something? Hope you feel better soon!

she dreams big! said...

Oh you poor thing! I have no dumb jokes but I do have a little advice. Make sure you play your injuries up for a LONG time and have your family wait on you hand and foot! That way you can just sit and make beautiful things (or dream about those hunky firemen)!

You take care girl!

Anonymous said...

Oh Pam. You are a hero for avoiding the small child on the bicycle and I'm so sorry you got injured. It's so shocking, is it not- to fall. Rest and repair. Glad nothing was broken but ouch...

"What did the hot dog say as he crossed the finish line? I'm the weiner!!" (sorry. that's all I got)

xo shelley

Marilyn said...

Sorry to hear about your crash. I liked reading all the comments. Hope you feel better fast. My mother once asked her Dr. why her wrist hurt and he said "because you have been using it for 80 yrs.:)

Lisalulu said...

that is sad you crashed, and I'm all for milking it for AT LEAST A WEEK!!! and lets see pictures of you scraps!! Glad you were wearing your helmet even though it didn't match! You took one fall so another young-on didn't get hurt! good for you!

Barbara said...

Glad you're okay!! Do you get the option of beating the child that rode in front of you? :) What was that kid doing there and where were its parents??

Always best to get checked out, and a good cry fixes a lot. Hope you recover from your aches soon!

Six in One Hand said...

Do you need cheese and crackers or just fresh fruit?

I totally understand about falling...I mean feeling down.
I fell down our stairs a few weeks ago and it sucked!!!

Get better soon!!

Andy's Attic said...

Oh MY!!! I heard some riders were taken to the hospital but never imagined it was someone I knew...well, knew of.. So glad you are only bruised and bashed. Thank goodness you missed the little girl. Be proud you particpated and didn't run over anyone and have your family take good care of you.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Poor Girl!! A big owie and you just cry all you want to! Now I am proud of you for avoiding the child and love your answer as too who the President is...let you family take care of you!!! No jokes from me but a big GENTLE Hug!!

Outofmymind said...

I too hope the pain soon subsides and you get feeling better quick. This is why I tell my hubby I don't ride a bike. I KNOW I'll kill myself somehow. I'm glad you weren't hurt more and as for the Dr. I say twist something on him, REALLY HARD, and then ask him why it hurts. See what his answer for THAT is. Now tell your family that ice cream is the prescription. It ALWAYS make you feel better.

Shara said...

Oooowie! Thank goodness you are okay!

Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired.

Kim G. said...

Poor baby!! Bummer, sorry you had a spill, hope you heal up quickly! XO

laurie -magpie ethel said...

Sending another hug your way...can't think of a lame joke. Just to let you know I am thinking of you..

Another reminder why we need to wear helmets...Tom and I rode the Esplanade last Sunday and I hate my helmet as it mushes my hair...but after your KNOW they are a good thing!

GeorgiaPeachez said...

Oh man, I wish I could have been there with my new Flip camera, then posted the video on YouTube, made you famous, then Tosh.o could have you on his show for a web redemption. Just sayin'

icandy... said...

knock, knock...
who's there?
orange who?
orange you glad that you were wearing your helmet?? ;)

get to feeling better real quick, love and... you can cry all you want to! i feel your pain!
blessings and hugs,

Lemondrop Marie said...

I have a great fear of falling off of a bike,and my hubs is a HUGE rider. I am so uncoordinated I can't walk and chew gum. I am so glad that you are going to be okay and that you got your bike back! Get lots of rest and enjoy ice cream or something decadent.
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
August giveaway

Amber Von Felts said...

Wow! I'm glad you are OK! I have a scar on my chin from falling off of a scooter and not wearing my helmet at the time. Now you can bet your bippy I'm always in a helmet, even on bikes ! Feel better!

Deeba said...

Oh my friend! I am so sorry. Glad you are (will be) ok. I shared something fun with you on the phone - and I didn't even know you were suffering! Hope that helped. Here's another one, just in case. But to make it extra fun, I'll let your readers guess the punch line: God is passing out attributes to Man and Woman. There are two left in the basket. God pulls out: "the ability to pee standing up." Man raises his hand and jumps up and down - "oooh, me, me, I want that one." So God gives it to him. Then God pulls up the last one, to give to Woman: _______!!! (btw, we got it WAY better)! Love you xo

Sherrie said...

I just read your post. Yup, I would have been in tears as well. Thank goodness you are now safe and sound. I don't think I would have made it even 8 miles. Good for you.

Janet's Creations said...

Why are dogs such terrible dancers? They have 2 left feet. (as told to me by an 8 year old).

Hope you're feeling better.

Why are there so many cute firemen? My husband says it's because they're all 25 years old!

Janet (I live in Portland, too)